Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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