the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
high people should be assigned attendants
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
