I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
mondays should just be called national damage control day
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Randomize
