I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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