btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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