All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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