Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
