I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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