More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I'm sobbing to NWA
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
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