i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
