I want to stick my p in your. b.
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
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