Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
