After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I would fuck him just for his dog
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
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