I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
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