I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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