This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
