I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Randomize
