it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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