I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Can vaginas get frostbite?
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
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