I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Actions speak louder than pants.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
