Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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