I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
