I'll bet she douches with gravy.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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