omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
