she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Randomize
