matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
What did we do last night that was yellow?
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
