I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
