my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
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