Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Gay?
German.
Pity.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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