Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize