You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
