He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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