guys are not supposed to queef...right?
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Randomize
