Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
