ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Randomize
