Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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