Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
