why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Randomize