Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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