considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
