i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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