some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
