Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
