How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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