Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Randomize
