Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
and you fell through a lawn chair
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
