Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Randomize
