he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Randomize