Porn is love you can see.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
