I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
