exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
