Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
