I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
