the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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