For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
