dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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