1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
