she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
