Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
