brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
They took my balls.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
