Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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