I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
