is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
