Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
