champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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