There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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